Them damn liberals done it to me!
What makes a man? That’s the sort of question that all them squishy, fem-dems and hippy-liberal types oughta be askin’ Bill O’Gobbley. Who’s Bill O’Gobbley ya say?
Well, he’s a wealthy bird–made a fortune by writing a best-selling memoir [and movie] about his life as a cock fighter. He was born on a turkey farm and was, as a young bird, taken from his parents, disguised as a chicken and forced to fight in an underground cockfighting circuit.
But that’s all in the past. Although he says he doesn’t like talking about the past, everyone who knows him knows that he can easily be coaxed into sharing stories that, ultimately, showcase his ability to overcome adversity by pulling himself up by his own bootstraps.
He’s a paranoid, arrogant, irritable, bully of a bird who (because of his past) desperately craves lighter moments and surrounds himself with non-threatening types who amuse him or who he can browbeat.
Because of his early traumatic entrapment, he’s obsessed with freedom. It’s really all he thinks and talks about. Thanksgiving and turkey farms horrify him. He secretly funds and runs a private army of “Freebirds” whose mission is to free all domesticated fowl (not just turkeys). He’s pestered by nightmares and suffers from insomnia. He’s a loyal friend to those who agree with him and a relentless enemy of those who disagree (although he respects their freedom to disagree). His biggest secret: He’s been seeing a therapist for years.
So there ya have it. And don’t miss the movie! OR ELSE…
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