Our Mission
Our mission at mymulletmademedoit.com is to pay attention to what those on the socio-political right—the self-identified conservatives—are saying, doing, writing, thinking, believing, feeling, selling and so on. Our main goals are to:
1) take a fair, balanced and critical look at as much conservative stuff as we can,
2) attempt to understand it, and most importantly,
3) make fun of the stuff we cannot (try as we might) make any sense of.
Our Credo
WE BELIEVE it’s important to think critically about the crap liberals are inclined to embrace and accept at face value (e.g., the universal goodness of a national healthcare program). In fact, some of the Ivy-leagued, elitist, tie-dyed, tofu-eating, wheat-grass slurping, tree-hugging, guru-following lefty crap bugs us as much as it does the conservatives.
HOWEVER, we also believe it is equally important to think critically about the crap that liberals are inclined to reflexively reject (think gag reflex) simply because it comes from conservative sources (e.g., such voices of authority as Rush Limbaugh, Ann Coulter, Bill O’Reilly, Sean Hannity and ordinary folks like Joe the Plumber).
THUS, we think that thoughtless extremism and rejection of valid points of view (regardless of their source) will generally lead to no good, at least for some.
BUT (and this is an important “but”): Because we are thoughtful, reasonable, loving, caring, concerned and compassionate people, the small-minded, mean conservative crap bugs us infinitely more so than the intellectual, touchy-feely liberal crap does.
THEREFORE, we at mymulletmademdoit.com deem conservative crap as more worthy of careful examination and, wherever possible, ridicule.
AND SO: That’s what we’re all about.
The Mullet
Since we endeavor to find, examine and satire conservative crap, think of us as scatologists with a sense of humor. As scatologists, we are dedicated to the dispassionate and rigorous analysis of our subject matter.
From our analyses we have determined that conservative crap is composed of varying amounts of the following five basic elements:
1) fear, frustration and/or fury;
2) flag waving of the chauvinistic type (as opposed to the Fourth of July, good’ol USofA type that we can all delight in);
3) fabricating, fostering and /or facilitating falsehoods (e.g., misstating facts, hyperbole);
4) fundamentalism (e.g., religious, political, philosophical, etc.);
5) fanaticism (i.e., extremism).
But because most people find crap offensive, we’ve decided to use the mullet to symbolize this vile excrement. Although the mullet is actually a type of fish, we are referencing the hairstyle. Despite its grand history (look it up), the mullet hairstyle connotes a sort of repugnant, low-browed ignorance and stupidity.
Similar to the term hick, the term mullet head comes laden with many of the same stereotypes: Mullet heads are dumb, racist, sexist, uncultured, uneducated, and unsophisticated. They’re protestant, usually rural-dwelling Midwesterners or Southerners, who drive pick-up trucks and/or muscle cars with NRA, Support the Troops and Freedom Isn’t Free stickers on their bumpers and windows. They smoke cheap cigarettes, drink Budweiser, watch WWF, NASCAR and most other mainstream sports (including monster truck exhibitions). They like guns, hunting, fishing and trapping. They don’t care much about the environment, and they believe and trust what they’re told about current events on FOX news. They hate the entirety of the rest of “the liberal media.” They hate environmentalists, hippies, liberals, homosexuals (cringing at the notion of gay marriage or gays in the military), immigrants (especially illegal immigrants), Muslims, the Federal Government (especially taxes and any gun control or environmental regulations) and welfare recipients (as long as they themselves are not on public assistance). They believe the Christian God is the only real God and that all other Gods and religions are false and evil. They are prepared to respond to authority figures (who are like them) and feel best when doing what they are told and when they are telling others to do what they are told. They think everything the U.S. military does is good and right so long as fellow conservatives (like George Bush or Ronald Regan) are calling the shots. They believe in good and evil, black and white, and think “grey areas” are for wimps, pussies and damn liberal relativists who can’t take a stand on anything. They abhor Godless intellectuals and avoid complexity and nuance.
We concur: Mullet-headed persons can be found in all segments of American society. But as the stereotype goes, they seem to be overrepresented in the Red states and in the population of conservatives (fiscal, social and otherwise delineated).
We advance—conditionally—that there is nothing inherently wrong with being a mullet head even if he/she manifests all the above negative stereotypes as long as he/she possesses a sincere desire and capacity to be more than that. That is, if they evidence the desire and capacity to learn and to grow and to become more like us (i.e., thoughtful, reasonable, loving, caring, concerned and compassionate human beings), then there’s hope for them. If they aren’t so inclined then we can only hope that they won’t multiply.
Ratings
The first step towards being more than a mullet head is to become aware of entrenched conservative biases. This is where our book and Website ratings can be useful.
Ratings are based on the above-mentioned five basic elements of conservative crap. If, for example, a book or a Website contains all five elements, it will receive a five mullet head rating. If it contains four, it will receive a four mullet head rating and so on.
The value of such a rating system is that it identifies books and Websites that have content that can, in varying degrees, serve to advance a person towards being a full-blown mullet head. Regardless of the rating, we suggest reading it all to stay aware and informed.
Cartoons
Our weekly Feature Funnies are homegrown by us and are meant to satirize the conservative crap we come across in various Internet, print and televised media sources. Look for a growing cast of characters—some reprehensible, some sympathetic, some familiar, some not—all of who will appear from time to time in our Featured Funnies.
The Team
Michael A. Mangan, B.S., M.A., M.A., M.F.A., Ph.D.
Michael Mangan is a college professor and a semi-professional student. When he’s not doing what he is supposed to, he surfs and plays guitar in a rock band. He enjoys derisive humor (as long as it’s not directed at him) and thinks of himself as a thoughtful, reasonable, loving, caring, concerned and compassionate man. He is a damn liberal but has friends who are conservative mullet heads. Depending on how much Budweiser he’s consumed and what’s on T.V. (NASCAR, monster trucks) he, at times, can be a mullet head himself. He is open to any evidence of the existence of an intelligent creator of the universe and would consider it an honor to meet him/her/it one day. Until then, he leans toward the Eastern religions, (Taoism, Buddhism). He thinks Bill O’Reilly was an angry ostrich (or maybe a turkey) in a past life.
Jim Roldan, B.F.A., B.S-er, W.T.F.
Jim Roldan is a professional illustrator and semi-regular college instructor. His first memorable childhood gift was a box of 64 Crayola crayons (with the built-in sharpener). As a kid he constantly drew cartoon characters, animals, comic book heroes, dinosaurs and spaceships. Ignoring the concerned looks on his parents’ faces he eventually went to an art school and graduated with a BFA in Illustration. Several years after working in a graphic design studio he started his own business illustrating ads, logos, magazines, newspapers, posters, books and the occasional cartoon character, spaceship or comic book hero. He’s never really watched NASCAR, but is quite partial to the traditional hockey mullet and the sport that inspires them. He concedes that he often finds signs of intelligence in his conservative friends, but only rarely in the pundits and politicians they tend to support.
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